Post by studio42 on Sept 21, 2004 1:05:51 GMT -5
Just so you all know a tad more about me:
I work generally speaking 80+ hours a week, 120+ hours typical.
I own and operate a small sound company.
I have been doing computer and network work since I was 8. That's 1979, do the math.
I've been involved in music since age 12 and working actively in pro audio since age 20.
I'm married for as of this point 27 months and have a 7 month old daughter. My wife brings me endless joy and stress and love and grief. Let's just say I'm sure I have high blood pressure and do suffer from stress-related problems, both mental and physical.
I play soccer for 8 years and have bad knees and back injuries.
In January of 2003, as in the 1st, my life took a dramatic turn. Yeah, as if marriage didn't do that. Anyhow, enough of my being a smart-ass. My father died. Massive heart attack. Pretty much just dropped dead. After years of being a heavy smoker, he managed to quit and on his second attempt, kicked the habit and had been smoke free for I think 4 years. Of course, he went through gum like mad, but hey, hard to break the oral habits, I've been told. He also had high blood pressure, in part due to his years of smoking.
Note:
STOP SMOKING!! You're killing yourselves and your loved ones. Hell, you're killing the ones you hate too but there are 7-day waiting periods to endure to speed up those processes.(know what I mean?)
So, I get a call in the morning, say 11:30 or so on January 1. My mom is in a panic, nothing has quite happened yet. It goes downhill fast, and by the time I get to the hospital, I'm told he didn't make it. Fact of the matter is, he never made it out of the house alive. I've seen dead bodies before, however not in as good of a condition as my father was. I mean, he took out the X-Mas tree as he does every year on January 1. Vacummed the needless away, so on and so forth then felt a funny and scary to him pain, and well, the rest is just a bunch of stuff that has the same result. I won't get into other f*ck-ups that happened after the fact, but let's say that they happen WAY more than they should and NOBODY should have to go through that crap. Enough said on that unknown.
Now, there are other issues that I won't talk about, not even to my closest friends. Let me just say that I'm suffering stuff from his death. Yes, traumatic. My father and I were close.
Going back a bit, in 2002, we, and that we being myself, my father and my sister, created a new company. Basically, doing the same stuff we had been doing for another company, just now we keep more money. We incorporated in March of 2002, opened the doors in September 2002, broke off and started it for real in October. My father was sales, I was support/tech/installs and my sister was administrative. So, I got promoted. I'm doing fairly well.
But, back to the previous paragraph. You know how they say "dead men tell no tales"? That's a load of bullsh*t, just for clarification. Knowing what I know NOW about what was going on is what's making me still suffer a lot of stuff. So, I'm a tad, well, f*cked up over this whole thing. Of course, so is my sister and mother as well and for the same reasons but in their own ways.
Better to see my father's body intact than the times I've had to identify MOST of a friend. That can be disturbing, but it doesn't bug me.
Other issues:
Work is stressful.
Wife ensures stress stays at high levels.
Stress can manifest itself in odd ways. Usually I get a knock in my right shoulder. I had hiccups for 10 days straight, ALL DAY, last November. Stress related. Oh, learned I have a bad reaction to a certain drug, that was fun. Thorazine and me: no go!! Ugh!
I'm moving starting tomorrow. Got a show Saturday. I haven't had a day off in over 2 years and haven't slept worth a crap in over 20 months(it's tied to my father dying). My wife is throwing more crap at me tied to the move, stuff that takes time, and time is something neither of us have. Yeah, isn't it lovely?
I'm normally a failry nice guy. I like to help when and where I can. I do get taken advantage of a lot, sometimes I let it happen, sometimes it just happens. However, these days I'm rather jaded and am choosy about who I help. Those who I do help know who they are, and I'll be loyal, I am very loyal, almost to a fault.
Right now I'm going through a lot of crap, so steer a wide path. In a week or so, I'll be feeling better after my move, at which point it will be time throw more stress onto the fire.
I find talking about stuff helps. Although, nothing has helped this time around. Sure is cheaper than a therapist. Note the term 'rapist' in there. It's not a coincidence. It's the word "the" and "rapist" tied together.
I'm still exhausted from Cosby and Chicago and gotta start moving tomorrow.
Good night, all. Your friendly neighborhood nut-job is going to sleep!
I work generally speaking 80+ hours a week, 120+ hours typical.
I own and operate a small sound company.
I have been doing computer and network work since I was 8. That's 1979, do the math.
I've been involved in music since age 12 and working actively in pro audio since age 20.
I'm married for as of this point 27 months and have a 7 month old daughter. My wife brings me endless joy and stress and love and grief. Let's just say I'm sure I have high blood pressure and do suffer from stress-related problems, both mental and physical.
I play soccer for 8 years and have bad knees and back injuries.
In January of 2003, as in the 1st, my life took a dramatic turn. Yeah, as if marriage didn't do that. Anyhow, enough of my being a smart-ass. My father died. Massive heart attack. Pretty much just dropped dead. After years of being a heavy smoker, he managed to quit and on his second attempt, kicked the habit and had been smoke free for I think 4 years. Of course, he went through gum like mad, but hey, hard to break the oral habits, I've been told. He also had high blood pressure, in part due to his years of smoking.
Note:
STOP SMOKING!! You're killing yourselves and your loved ones. Hell, you're killing the ones you hate too but there are 7-day waiting periods to endure to speed up those processes.(know what I mean?)
So, I get a call in the morning, say 11:30 or so on January 1. My mom is in a panic, nothing has quite happened yet. It goes downhill fast, and by the time I get to the hospital, I'm told he didn't make it. Fact of the matter is, he never made it out of the house alive. I've seen dead bodies before, however not in as good of a condition as my father was. I mean, he took out the X-Mas tree as he does every year on January 1. Vacummed the needless away, so on and so forth then felt a funny and scary to him pain, and well, the rest is just a bunch of stuff that has the same result. I won't get into other f*ck-ups that happened after the fact, but let's say that they happen WAY more than they should and NOBODY should have to go through that crap. Enough said on that unknown.
Now, there are other issues that I won't talk about, not even to my closest friends. Let me just say that I'm suffering stuff from his death. Yes, traumatic. My father and I were close.
Going back a bit, in 2002, we, and that we being myself, my father and my sister, created a new company. Basically, doing the same stuff we had been doing for another company, just now we keep more money. We incorporated in March of 2002, opened the doors in September 2002, broke off and started it for real in October. My father was sales, I was support/tech/installs and my sister was administrative. So, I got promoted. I'm doing fairly well.
But, back to the previous paragraph. You know how they say "dead men tell no tales"? That's a load of bullsh*t, just for clarification. Knowing what I know NOW about what was going on is what's making me still suffer a lot of stuff. So, I'm a tad, well, f*cked up over this whole thing. Of course, so is my sister and mother as well and for the same reasons but in their own ways.
Better to see my father's body intact than the times I've had to identify MOST of a friend. That can be disturbing, but it doesn't bug me.
Other issues:
Work is stressful.
Wife ensures stress stays at high levels.
Stress can manifest itself in odd ways. Usually I get a knock in my right shoulder. I had hiccups for 10 days straight, ALL DAY, last November. Stress related. Oh, learned I have a bad reaction to a certain drug, that was fun. Thorazine and me: no go!! Ugh!
I'm moving starting tomorrow. Got a show Saturday. I haven't had a day off in over 2 years and haven't slept worth a crap in over 20 months(it's tied to my father dying). My wife is throwing more crap at me tied to the move, stuff that takes time, and time is something neither of us have. Yeah, isn't it lovely?
I'm normally a failry nice guy. I like to help when and where I can. I do get taken advantage of a lot, sometimes I let it happen, sometimes it just happens. However, these days I'm rather jaded and am choosy about who I help. Those who I do help know who they are, and I'll be loyal, I am very loyal, almost to a fault.
Right now I'm going through a lot of crap, so steer a wide path. In a week or so, I'll be feeling better after my move, at which point it will be time throw more stress onto the fire.
I find talking about stuff helps. Although, nothing has helped this time around. Sure is cheaper than a therapist. Note the term 'rapist' in there. It's not a coincidence. It's the word "the" and "rapist" tied together.
I'm still exhausted from Cosby and Chicago and gotta start moving tomorrow.
Good night, all. Your friendly neighborhood nut-job is going to sleep!